Pretense in a Relationship - One of the worst Feelings ever- Kemi Oyedepo

This article is one of the most interesting i have read in a while. It discusses pretence in a relationship, couple who do not know know each other enough to be comfortable around each other. A Nigerian comedian once said if you cannot fart around your spouse, you are hiding something. Read Below;

One of the worst feelings a man or woman can have in marriage is the need to pretend with his or her spouse. There are many husbands and wives today who don't know each other; they are not free with each other. 

They cannot, for some reason be fully transparent with each other so they are walking on eggshells. They are able to speak freely with their friends, their siblings, their parents and others; they are able to tell others their pains and hurts, their weaknesses, even their dreams, yet their spouses know nothing about it.

 It doesn't make sense but it happens. And that means something is wrong somewhere. How can two people claim to be building a life, a family together, from the ground up, yet there is no transparency? Before you get married, ensure there is transparency please; don't pretend or else you will be most miserable in the marriage.

 If you feel there are still secrets or there is no trust, tackle the issue first. Speak freely and give the other person room to speak freely. The same goes for a married couple because that is what gives birth to deep intimacy.

 Sometimes it may be that a husband is open and honest, and his wife takes advantage of it and uses what she knows to wound him, or the other way around. That is wrong on every level. You are there to help, not hurt! Be understanding! Be respectful! Be encouraging! Use The Word of God as your guide always! It's not enough to ask God for wisdom & grace.

 We must also put the wisdom & face He releases on us to work - that is when we will see results! Please don't do anything to destroy the intimacy that you should enjoy in your marriage. Without intimacy, without oneness in marriage, you have nothing" - 

Excerpt from a teaching by Kemi Oyedepo